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DCIS is a Cancer and don't let anyone tell you different - My New Therapy - What's it gonna be?


	DCIS is a Cancer and Don't let anybody tell you it's not. In 1996 I was Diagnosed with Breast Cancer, DCIS, Ductal Incarcenoma In Situ, whish means a localized Cancer. My cancer was contained in the milk ducts and as far as my surgeon was concerned not serious at all and just a lumpendectomy and some radiation and I would be fine. Well I had a partial mastecomy after that and a couple of bioplsies becuase I kept getting signs of calcifications on my mammogram follow ups. Then it happened not even two years later a reoccurance of my cancer but a higher grade, now I had to make some decisions more peices off my breast or take off the breast. Well they took magnified veiws to discover I had another type of cancer starting up in the right breast also, my cancer started in the left I should say. The cancer in the right was LCIS which is Lobular cancer in situ. now it was in the lobs of the breast not as serious as ductal carcenoma and all still a pre cancer but they are treating like a cancer non the less I am having radiation just the same as if I had cancer that was not a pre cancer. Anyways I had enough already in the first two years and I opt to have the breast removed after a couple of opinions and one surgeon told me if not take it off this thing would come back and bit me in the ass were her exact words. This is a long story and I will continue another day and I have to still find out what therapy is next for me so the story is not finished not by a longshot . thats just it for now, thanks for listening an this is gonna do me good to get the whole thing off my chest from the start because it has become such a mess from a simple pre cancer that wasn't suppose to kill me has come back with a vengence. I will explain everything in detail I promise.

Her 2neu Postive Cancer you think I would have had those results by now, NOT my name is MURPHY pleased to meet you.

All I did was ask what was my status?

Assuming they had already did this test long ago, or they couldn't be making decisions about my cancer therapy. Was I wrong, the doctor says, oh yes they have to be here just hang on a minute I will look through your chart for the results and see. While I just knew in my heart they weren't there, but why did I have to be right again?

She couldn't find the results, so she ordered this test for my Her 2/neu status, now this test will tell them if my cancer is more aggressive or if it happens to start getting so aggressive can I be offered Herceptin, Only 25% of Breast Cancer Patients are postive keep this in mind.

I wait two months the results come in and the doctor tells me they came in but nothing on it. I wonder how can a big hospital make a mistake like that this is Hamilton hospital nothing to sneeze at, I mean this test can't be done in the hospital it has to be done on the original tumour or lucky for me I have just had some cancerous ovaries taken out this year so they can test them.

Well after waiting two months or more, the results are in and I am deffinately positive with a 3+, and then I read up on it a bit and it makes so much sense to me now.

I am ER+ a bit the other onc says to me so they put me on the line of anti-hormonal therapy that I am suppose to be on but I don't respond to Tamoxifen hmmmm, do you think they would have known right then maybe this patient (not chart) is her 2 positive?

Then they tell me I am PR- another sign I could be her 2 positive hmmm, why wouldn't they just do the test its a matte of writing on a paper to another hospital just like a blood test at any hospital only takes five minutes to do.

All the signs were there, I had no response to Tamoxifen as a first line of treatment

When my er/pr status came in I was er a bit positive his exact words and pr neg

and I am on my second anti-hormonal therapy duh wake up and smell the coffee here if it can happen it will happen to me, you have got that yet.

On the 27th of December I find out if I recieve chemo therapy and Herceptin or Herceptin alone now as a line of therapy. Go figure two years later they have figured out what I have maybe. wouldn't it be funny and I always have this dream if they woke me up and said Cherl your nightmare is over, you can go home from the sleep clinic now you do have some terrible sleep issues, when you dream, dream BIG I always say.

Can I go home now???

I really don't know who reads this space, but that felt good getting that off my chest.

And have a merry christmas from my province to your state or province or country.

From my home to yours, across the miles and over the hills, have a happy holiday

the first time your hear "you have cancer....."

Smile - amazing what a smile can do....

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

Anthony J. D'Angelo

"We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do."

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Ask the Expert Conference On-line Breast Cancer.org

Dear breastcancer.org Community Member:

Are there questions you've had that our previous Ask-the-Expert conferences haven't answered? Then this is the conference for you.

Have you ever needed to know:

How your mother's breast cancer affects your own risk?

How to manage hot flashes resulting from hormonal therapy?

If yoga can really help reduce stress?

What Reiki is all about?

If there's any way to balance radiation treatments, follow-up appointments, your job, and your family's needs?

Join the conference next Wednesday, September 20th between 8:30 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time (EDT)* (1:30 a.m. to 3:00 a.m. GMT September 21st), where Dr. Ruth Oratz and Dr. Beth Baughman DuPree will answer your questions. We'll try to include as many of your questions as we can during the 90-minute conference.

Ruth Oratz, M.D., F.A.C.P., our guest speaker, is a medical oncologist and Associate Professor of Clinical Medicine at New York University School of Medicine. She founded The Women's Oncology & Wellness Practice in New York City, where she specializes in treating women with breast cancer and other malignancies, as well as those at risk for cancer. She is committed to helping women with cancer continue to live full, active lives using flexible treatment programs that address women's concerns about career, family life, relationships, and sexuality. Dr. Oratz has been listed in Redbook Magazine's "The Best Doctors in America" and in New York Magazine's "The Best Doctors in NYC." Dr. Oratz is also a member of the breastcancer.org Professional Advisory Board, which you can read about here:

http://www.breastcancer.org/pab.html

The conference moderator will be Beth Baughman DuPree, M.D., F.A.C.S. Dr. DuPree, a general surgeon who focuses her practice on breast cancer care, believes that bringing together complementary therapies with state-of-the-art, leading-edge technology can lead to better outcomes--even in people with life-threatening disease. Dr. DuPree encourages her patients to seek complementary therapy, whether it is through clinical psychological therapy, spiritual assistance, exercise programs, nutritional counseling, Reiki, yoga, or massage. She has won numerous awards for her medical and humanitarian work. Dr. DuPree received her medical degree from Hahnemann University in Philadelphia in 1987 and recently published a book titled The Healing Consciousness. Dr. Dupree is also a member of the breastcancer.org Professional Advisory Board.

To join the conference, go to www.breastcancer.org any time between 8:30 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. EDT* on September 20th and click on the "Join Conference" button. No special software is required. A transcript of the conference will be posted on our site by September 28th.

I look forward to having you join our Ask-the-Expert Online Conference next week!

Take care,

Marisa

Marisa Weiss, M.D.

President and Founder

www.breastcancer.org

*breastcancer.org welcomes conference participants from all over the world. To help you figure out when the conference will take place in your time zone, you can compare your local time to the current time on the East Coast of the United States. See:

http://www.breastcancer.org/time.php

click on the image to learn how

Scars - from The Cancer Crusade Cathy Cawthon

Your scars are beautiful.
They are the brushstrokes
in the masterpiece
that is your life.
Kathy Cawthon

(Editor's note: We have had many requests from subscribers to re-run a few of our most popular affirmations so they can print them out and share them with friends and family who don't have computer access. We are happy to do that over the course of the next several weeks.)

Ancient legend tells of the powerful Amazons, a race of one-breasted female warriors. These fierce fighting women, known for their skill as archers, underwent voluntary mastectomies so their breasts would not interfere with their aim. Their very survival depended upon the radical surgery.

Legend also tells of the Scythian culture in which women were expected to fight alongside the men. A mastectomy of the right breast was performed on female infants to prevent weakening of the pectoral muscle on that side. This ensured the girls would be able to brandish a sword with power and skill.

Scholars debate whether there is any truth behind these popular stories, but – true or not – the tales provide us with a thought-provoking way in which to reframe the way we see our scars.

Instead of looking at the scars on our bodies as reminders of illness and weakness, we could look at them as evidence that illness and weakness were removed from our bodies, making us more powerful than we were before. We could take pride in our scars because they are proof of battles we have fought and won. They speak of our courage and resolve. They tell the stories of our lives.

As we age, our faces and bodies naturally develop lines and wrinkles in addition to the scars that result from accidents and surgeries. Instead of fighting the lines and wrinkles with cosmetic surgeries and hiding our battle scars as if they are shameful or embarrassing, why not look at them as evidence of the rich collection of experiences that have shaped our characters over time
and made us who we are today?

Each of us is a miracle, and each of us is a masterpiece of the Creator.

One-of-a-kind. No two alike. A singular work of art
full of power and promise.

Rejoice in all of your brushstrokes!

Heavenly Father, help me to remember that I am Your creation

and that everything You have created is perfect and beautiful.

Amen

Roger and Kathy Cawthon

The Cancer Crusade

email: cawthons@thecancercrusade.com

web: http://www.thecancercrusade.com

September 15 9:11 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Quotes

A Bend in the Road

A Bend in the Road

When we feel that we have nothing left to give
And we are sure that the song has ended,
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
And the darkness of night has descended,
Where can we go to find the strength
To valiantly keep on trying?
Where can we find the hand that will dry
The tears that the heart is crying?
There's but one place to go and that is to God,
And dropping all pretense and pride,
We can poor out our problems without restraint
And gain strength with him by our side.
And together we stand at life's crossroads
And we view what we think is the end,
But God has a much bigger vision,
And he tells us it's only a bend,
For the road goes on and is smoother,
And the pause in the song is a rest,
And the part that's unsung and unfinished
Is the sweetest and richest and best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger_
Let go and let god share your load.
Your work is not finished nor ended_
You've just come to a bend in the road.

(Helen Steiner Rice)

I Hope You Dance

'I Hope You Dance...

This was written by an 83-year-old woman to her friend. *The last line says it all. *

Dear Bertha,

I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting in the yard and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time working.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at the bank.

"Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now

I'm not sure what others would've done had they known they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would have called family members and a few close friends. They might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.

I'm guessing; I'll never know.

It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, tell myself that it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift from God.

If you received this, it is because someone cares for you. If you're too busy to take the few minutes that it takes right now to forward this, would it be the first time you didn't do the little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you it certainly won't be the last.

Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you care about, just to let them know that you're thinking of them.

"People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there."

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance

July 09 6:56 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Breast Cancer

Instant Karma

Instant Karma by Barbara Ann

Never cut what can be untied.

Search for the middle ground in all things.

Live and act from the understanding that all things change.

Take a specified amount of time each day for meditation,

prayer, journal writing or inspirational reading.

Become aware of the fear that is influencing you.

Do not resist a nap if it has been a tiring day.

Be the first to forgive.

Learn the difference between needs and wants.

Spend as long as necessary listening to someone talk about what's troubling them.

Knowledge of your own mortality is the greatest gift God could ever give you.

Finding Meaning in Our Grief - from the cancer crusade

This beauty taken and edited by Maria/louloulemon, my biggest helper on this space, thanks Maria, your the best, hope your having a great time on your vacation.

when we finally know we are dying,

and all other sentient beings are dying with us,

we start to have a burning,

almost heartbreaking sense of the fragility

and preciousness of each moment and each being,

and from this can grow a deep, clear, l

imitless compassion for all beings.

by Sogyal Rinpoche

During my cancer experience, I cringed when people said, "Don’t worry. God won’t give you more than you can handle." The fact of the matter is that sometimes people do get more than they can handle, and God didn’t "give" them any of it. I believe in a God who is a gentle, loving father. Gentle, loving fathers don’t hurt and kill their children. God didn’t give me cancer any more than He directed a madman to plant that roadside bomb, broke off that tree limb and allowed it to fall on a little child, burst a vessel in the young mother’s brain or caused the collision that took the doctor’s life. Such tragedies are caused by biological glitches, horrific accidents
and man’s inhumanity to man

The Survivor Movie has been viewed more than 280,000 times in every state in the United States and in more than 48 countries
around the world.

Please keep it going by using the forwarding link at the end of the movie.
This movie and these affirmations are our gifts to you. We hope you will share them by forwarding to everyone for whom
you feel they might have meaning.

http://www.TheSurvivorMovie.com

another "A Bend in the Road"

This is a digital imagery or mammography

and it's not scarry at all, trust me I have been there.

What is scarry is having cancer. Trust me I am there.

So no excuses, don't hesitate just go and get checked

If you haven't and your around the 40 year old

mark I would ask my doctor for a base mammogram

now so they have something to look back on when you

do start getting them regularly. If you would prefer

have an ultrasound for now but as soon as possible

I would say after 40 get a base mammogram and go

from there but always remember you know your

body better than almost any one else ( my husband

found my lump) that's why I say almost anyone else,

so always use BSE breast self examination as a general

rule at least once a week in the shower to check for

any lumps or bumps or any breast changes.

The Sisterhood

Many women have found a lump,
a little dimple, a teeny bump.

But to hear the doctor say the worst,
is enough to make your bubble burst.

No one knows the thoughts the fears,
but one who's shared those very same tears.

It's a special group who knows this scare,
A Sisterhood whose always there.

To help you through the beginning stage
of anger, fear and endless rage.

They'll talk you through the loss of hair,
or burning skin, for they've been there.

Through relentless tests that never end,
they're there with hugs and cheers to send.

They'll gather together for there's lots to do,
with faith and hope, and prayers for you.

It's a genuine bond for they truly care,
this Sisterhood that's always there.

Cancer Fighting Foods Hmmmm!!!

Foods That Fight Cancer

Nutrient-rich foods are packed with compounds that protect your cells from the type of damage that can lead to cancerous mutations. While all fresh fruits, vegetables, beans, and whole grains are beneficial, the following foods are especially recommended for their cancer-fighting properties:

Fruits: Red and purple grapes and grape juice, strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries
Vegetables: Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, bok choy, kale, spinach, romaine lettuce, leaf lettuce, mustard greens, collard greens, chicory, Swiss chard, tomatoes, and garlic
Beans: Lentils, soybeans, and peas
Whole grains: Brown rice, whole wheat, oatmeal, air-popped popcorn, wild rice, kasha, and tabbouleh

Those who have had a cancer diagnosis should check with their doctors regarding soy products. Soy is very healthful for the majority of people, but may not be right for survivors of certain cancers.

More Important Nutrition Advice

Experts now recommend that those who have had a cancer diagnosis or who are at high risk should eat 9 servings of fruits and vegetables every day instead of the usual recommendation of 5. That's right: 9! And that means heavy on the vegetables, as in no more than 4 fruits.

Following this advice will strengthen your immune system and lower your cancer risk as well as your risk of heart disease and other serious illnesses and conditions.

Read more about Cancer Fighting Foods here

Kick off the week by participating in the nation's largest preventive care check-up event! National Women's Check-Up Day is on Monday, May 15, 2006. Community health centers, hospitals, and other health care providers across America will participate in this event by offering preventive health screenings to women.

Attitude Tools: Build Up Your Hope

Build up a hopeful buzz

You can find someone in a support group, at your workplace or place of worship, in your family, or in your neighborhood, that is always positive and can spread hopefulness to others. Spend time with your hope mentor, and soak up their encouraging attitudes and words.

Ask for support

Target the people in your life who are spiritual warriors, prayer partners, organizers, and who have been feeling helpless while you've been in treatment. Put them to work creating hope on your behalf - they can pray, listen, counsel, line up meals or rides, clean your house, baby-sit the kids, or come and hold your hand. It's okay to ask for support from hopeful people - if you're in treatment, please stop being Super Woman!

Write it up

Start keeping notes in a small, portable notebook, of the little daily things that are so nice and that lift your spirits in any way. Jot down experiences that encourage you or give you hope. While I was in treatment, we would go for gentle walks, and I would notice birds, flowers, a perfect breeze, or a bit of good news on a test, and I'd put that in my "Book of Gratefulness" - then I'd read back through it later and feel uplifted.

Talk it out

Breast cancer is traumatic for most of us, but in a safe setting with a support group or with friends or perhaps family, talk about your feelings. Discuss it and when it's been aired, if at all possible, leave it behind and focus on your future. Don't keep an elephant in your living room - nobody can really get past it, including you.

Live today in hope

If you look into the horizon of continuing treatments or surgeries, and that is all you're seeing, then you will find it hard to enjoy today. Make today count for as much good and hopeful experience as you can. Experience today as if it is your first bowl of delicious ice cream!

Get out the memory scrapbook

Reflect on events, celebrations, or vacations that were very positive experiences. Having a photo or postcard is often a good way to focus on a good memory. If you're feeling blue, dive into the positive memories and soak up the hope that belongs to you.

Attitude Tools:

Build Up Your Hope

Ways to Create and Maintain Hope

A Special Tag from Lesley read her Story - From Msn Spaces One of Such Inspiration

Thank You So Much Lesley For the Beautiful Tag,

I Know you are Having a Hard Time also and My prayers are with you, this Angel is also watching over you. I hope you get the good results as well, I know how hard it is waiting that makes two of us.

Just know that I am thinkin about you As I have always said "Breast Cancer Patients are soul Mates for Life"

I will be Practicinglucky4ursake, and My space is Full of HOPE.

Read Lesley's amazing story on her space, there is a link for her space on my practicinglucky4mysake space. it is one of Inspiration, it took great courage to write and she has a miracle baby to show for it because not only did Lesley go throught Breast Cancer she was also Pregnant at the time, and told not to continue with her pregnancy but she did and she has been doing just Greatttt.

Keep it up Lesley. This is just a Bump in the Road, I know it's hard not to think the worse but you have so muchsupport here, use it, talk to your friends that are here for you. ONLINE support is was got me through a very rough year. A very well planned trip you have coming up is a very good thing and well deserved. good you I wish you all the best. Wouldn't it be so nice to be free of all the worry of tests and results and waiting and, and, and?????

This kind of says it all, the worried look on this angels face and the arms around her breasts, shows the fear of the unknown and like she is saying "no more!!!" I think that's what it says to me and a picture says 1000 words.

I luv angels but if you look close at facial expressions and things in the background of these beautiful pictures you see alot more than the beautiful angel.

JUST MY OPINION means nothing. huh!!

When Lesley first made me a Breast Cancer Tag and believe me right away it had a special quality, but to me the fairy looked worried but Lesley said "no, that is you and you are sitting on top of the cancer bracelets which symbolizes that you are on top of things" and when I looked at it that way, wow- that siggy *signature picture-part of you - took on a whole new meaning, then other people with space causes started wanting the same type of banncers but you can't top Lesley's because it is the Original idea, it shows the worry I know what Lesley was trying to say, she didn't want me to worry, that's the last thing she wants me to do. She knows what its like thats for sure, she is the only one I talk to on spaces that has been through breast cancer that I know of so far.

Now I have no communication with Carolyn my only person who understands doctor talk, she should have been a doctor (funny thing that's what my family always said about me, because when the doctor ever said anything about my health, I always read til I was blue in the face, this was pre-cancer days, and the same with my kids always felt I had to get to the bottom of things),Carolyn understands my feelings so much I swear she is in my head half the time, I really do, she is so thoughtful and understanding and only 22 years old wise way beyond her years, and she does want to help people in this life, I just hope she knows what a wonderful job she has done in lifting my spirits each and every time I have talked to her or recieved an email or any word from her, she is like the sunshine on a rainy day, just brightens up my day, I hate to see her hurting and she is, but she is very young and I hope that all this hurt will pass and she can finally be happy at some point in her life, I know she will be because she is so deserving of happiness and harmony in her life, it will come but after everything she has been through it is gonna take some time, its not from lack of trying, she is a trooper and missing her mum just keeps getting to her, and I can understand that, she was so young and so were her sisters and what a confusing time that was for all of them, I know she will make it though. Cause tiggers like to bounce and this tigger is gonna bounce back, you will see, Now there's my good long time friend Maria :) my long time dear dear friend she is always there for me always always no matter what is going on my life she is there, If I was coming to Toronto tomorrow she would meet me for coffee she is so sweet that angel.

She Had a very special Aunt that passed away and did a very special blog with the poem from Helen Stein "Bend in the Road" I asked her if she made tables and that was after several attempts to look at spaces I was very new, Maria taught me almost everything about the space there is to learn she certainly taught me how to put the pictures and how to show your space so that is eyecatching. It is her artistic spark that attracked me to her space and her friendiness of course she was so easy to talk to and she made me that table with the poem in it and I will never forget that day and thinking yes this is all this is

"A Bend in the Road" and she has really helped me to think positive many days. When all that I can think of is when am I gonna die, or I wonder how long I have, or I wonder if I will ever see grandchildren???

That is a biggie for me? I luv babbies but I am sorry, I am partial to my blood and I can't wait for my kids to have kids and I really don't want to miss out on that, that is most important to me right now, I wish they would hurry up, or I hope I last 4-ever that would be even better.

I had a 5% chance of my cancer coming back so if the odd's are even 5% for remission than I think my odd's are pretty good. Wouldn't you think that way at this point. I have put my type of Cancer on my space now it's called DCIS its not even classed as a Breast Cancer it is a pre-cancer that they take out of you because they have no way of telling who will get the invasive type of cancer from this and who won't, well pick me. (they did, those nasty little cells, I got them all out, but one was sleeping all these years from what I understand and just woke up now and decided to spread, nice one.

I could have had a good insurance policy I didn't know that. It's stage 0 at the time, but I had all the same therapies as someone with a stage 2 or 3 cancer just no chemotherapy, because the cancer is localized. It was so hard to understand and still is, my cancer was in the ducts and when the breasts are gone so should the cancer be, but when it came back the second time it came back at a higher grade. I just found this out. I had no lymph nodes removed until I decided to have bilateral mastectomies because it kept coming back as pre-cancer but cancer non the less, and the surgeon kept telling me it was a very controversal cancer, but I wouldn't die from it. I will never forget him saying I wouldn't die from it. It's not an invasive cancer therefore, the DCIS stands for DUCTAL INCARCENOMA IN SITU no the way it was explained to me is the IN SITU means localized so its not invasive meaning stage 0 and no lymph node involvement so, no chemotherapy and no test on the lump and no tests period except take it out and have some radiation in case (this I just found out) some cells escaped before surgery the first time meaning the initial lumpendectomy,which is what they are saying happened to me 9 years later, then my cancer after my lumpendectomy came back not more than two years later,and that is when I decided to have my breast removed because I seen for myself in the pathology report signs of LCIS which is LOBULAR INCARINOMA amongst other scarry things that indicated to me invasive or fast growing cells, but not to them, so I wasn't playing games, I did some research and said enough is enough, I have had enough of these little surgeries and they told me the radiation was just something to try, not something that would work, in the notes they said to each other I was a complicated case and that was enough for me, I said take them off, and then there will be no cancer in my breasts at all. I went to two surgeons of course for opinions one told me to get them off or this would come back and "bite me in the ass"

That is the one I hired. She was such a nice doctor, I learned alot from her, she gave me all of my records when all was said and done like all doctors should and she did alot of fallow up, I even went back to her for a referral for my reconstructive surgery. She set me up with a really nice reconstructive surgeon in London Ontario, At London University Hospital, What a Great Learning Hospital and a Great Place to have to stay should you have to stay in Hospital for anything, everyone was excellent there, I was there for eight days after a fourteen hour surgery and every single doctor I see now says they did a wonderful job, as a matter of fact the new Pain doctor said to the new nurse she was training that I have the body of a teenager, what a nice compliment that was? too bad I didn't have the shape 25 yrs ago you know, now I don't have the energy to do anything and I have to say my daughter's clothes fit me real nice. I can wear anything now. I wish I could before, weight was always a big issue with me, up and down.

My weight has been up to 180 lbs when I had my reconstructive surgery it is now 120 lbs and holding and that hasn't been easy.

I was having severe pain and unexplained weight loss and they didn't see that as a sign that my cancer was back I was so mad when I found out, that Pain was the Cancer going right through my left side, and Its a terrible pain I can't even explain that pain, and I couldn't to the doctors either I went to so many pain specialists because I didn't want to be on any type of opiates and that's exactly what they were pushing Morphine and I hate the feeling on that stuff, just hate it. Bad enough I will never feel normal again, I don't even remember what that is like, and now I don't know if I am just plain sick or if its side effects from the medications they are giving me.

I hate this but the alternative is not good either, it's been ten years this month August and I do have something to celebrate, its called living. I plan to do just that.

The start of this whole thing I was a mess, I couldn't talk all I was doing was thinking and thinking, couldn't shut the mind off for nothing, I was listenening to relaxation tapes like there was no tomorrow, just days prior to that I was into my good old rock n roll, I was like day and night in that one week, and then this went on for weeks because tests that were suppose to have been done years ago to make decisions now were never done, and they had to give me meds by flipping a coin it seemed and I wasn't liking it after being told I was terminal, and being hooked up with hospice and pallitive care, not just cancer care anymore. Oh and a card for my local Cancer support center which closed down because it was built on a commercial zone. I couldn't believe the luck I was having, none at all. I didn't even want to buy a tv when it broke the same time, I thought what for? I don't watch it and how long am I gonna use it? Do I really need to waste my money on a stupid TV I was thinking??

Talk about total shock, it went on for about two months like that, staring into space all the time just thinking and thinking what about this and crying boy there is no end to tears I can vouch for that.

I have to thank my friends here who have stuck by me when I have gone for my tests and my surgeries and my results and everything and always such nice comments as they wait patiently and very positively for the results and keep my spirits lifted. I can't thank you guys enough. and I know you know who you are.

May 21 3:51 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Share Your Story

Stay this way by Kylie very nice song

Audio:kylie stay this way
by dream05

May 21 2:20 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Dreams

Dreams

Dreams pass into the reality of action.

From the actions stems the dream again;

and this interdependence produces
the highest form of living.

May 19 10:01 AM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Dreams

As soon as everyone knows I have moved my Breast Cancer space stuff!!!


	*This gift is for you Cherl. Thank you for being a wonderful and fantastic friend. You are the best!* .My Existance use to be a part of my other space that I used to do once in awhile to update people on what's going on with my medical stuff. Well I started groups and stuff and started talkin on the messenger so people started getting updated that way but that didn't update everyone out there. I have noticed that I haven't really said what's been going on for the person out there just reading to see what happens when you have stage four cancer and you are just living with the surprises everyday, and of course the unknown. I plan to update regularly on here as it is for breast cancer information and the other space will be more for my socializing which I don't mind a bit either, I have made some wonderful friends and its great talking on the messenger to people half way across the world I am still amazed with the internet it hasn't been that long for me don't forget. I do think a well thought out update is in order though I am dealing with a late stage cancer here and the only thing for me is control I know its under control on March 17th and I have just had all the tests to see if everything is still the same, I will know loads of information on May 26, so stay tuned if you want to know what's up with Murphy here, I shouldn't say that, I have beat the odd's this year and I am doing really well. I have a feeling these test results will be real good too. keep your fingers crossed for me will ya. I guess a small prayer wouldn't hurt but i know you are that's what got me throught this year the power of the prayer out there. thanks guys.bye for now. cherl. ^j^ ^j^ I luv this table Maria, Thanks so much. I would also Like to Post the Special Siggy Haley made me on March 17 the last time I had these tests and the Doctor said those magic words "Partial Remission" I won't forget it, I have to celebrate those days. The doctor says when I get good news celebrate right away because I don't know what's gonna happen the very next morning. this has been so true, I wake up with swollen feet and don't know what I've done, then to find out I've done nothing it's the way I'm healing or not healing from two surgeries so far apart one in 2001 how could that effect me now? ask the experts, and my pain, that's from radiation damage and too many surgeries again, go figure all that I go through is from all that I have been through, so I just have to go through it I always said I can't go around it. I am thinking positive on this Tumour marker test. I have only had problems from past therapies lately so I should be Okay. I am praying. HOPE will get me through. Thank you My Special friend Maria, You are so great at these things.

Younger Cancer Patients More at Risk

A Younger Women Under 45 Diagnosed With Breast Cancer

has a higher risk of dying from the disease than older patients.

By Patricia Reaney

LONDON (Reuters) - Young women under 45 years old diagnosed with early breast cancer have a higher risk of dying from the disease than older patients, scientists said on Thursday.

"The younger the woman, the poorer the chance of survival," said Dr Vincent Vinh-Hung, of University Hospital in Brussels.

Breast is the most common cancer in women, with more than a million new cases detected worldwide each year. Most are in women over 50 -- the disease is rare in young women.

But Vinh-Hung told Reuters that although only a small fraction of early breast cancers occur in young women, they account for a disproportionate percentage of deaths.

In a study of 45,000 breast cancer patients presented at the 5th European Breast Cancer Conference in Nice, France, Vinh-Hung and his colleagues found that the odds of dying from breast cancer rose by 5 percent for every year that a woman was under 45 when diagnosed.

They focused on women with early breast cancer which had not spread beyond the breast and whose tumors were less than 2 cm (0.8 inches) in size.

Doctors had previously suspected that the poorer prognosis in young women was due to being diagnosed later with a more advanced cancer. Breast tissue in younger women is usually denser which can make detecting a tumor more difficult.

Younger women may also ignore a suspicious lump in their breast thinking it is harmless or that they are too young to have breast cancer.

But Vinh-Hung said the findings suggest that in young women, age, more than other factors, affects the chance of survival.

He and his team suspect there may some type of unknown genetic damage that may increase the chances of developing the disease early and contribute to the poor prognosis in younger patients.

A family history of breast cancer, early puberty, late menopause, not having children or having them late and genetic mutations are risk factors for breast cancer.

May 14 9:56 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Breast Cancer Facts

Kylie Minogue Welcome back with love from your fans

Along with the officiated fund above, you may like to check the following

resources for details about breast cancer, <>with ways you can help.

Breakthought uk

BreastcancerCare.org uk

Breastcancer Network Au

Breastcancer.org us

May 14 12:36 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | Breast Cancer